In the first two posts in this series, I explained what self-care actually is, and flagged some common self-care pitfalls to avoid. In this final post, I want to share a framework you can use to structure or plan your self-care activities, so you can be more intentional.
The PERMA framework has been around for some time, and has been proposed by its creator Martin Seligman as covering the building blocks of our wellbeing. After some reviews and critiques, some alternative models have been proposed, which includes some of the additional essential ingredients of health. These include things like maintaining and improving physical health, investing in sleep, the nature of the physical environment we spend time in (especially at work) and our experience of economic security. Yet the core model still serves as a useful reminder of the factors that can combine to our wellbeing.
Yes, it’s another psychological model, yes it’s another acronym. But it’s also a very accessible and memorable way to reflect on wellbeing, which it’s why I include it in my wellbeing workshops and health coaching practice.
Let’s walk through its components.
What is PERMA?
The model is made up of the following key ingredients:
Positive emotions
This all about engaging in activities that result in positive emotions. Importantly, it’s not the avoidance of unpleasant or welcome emotions (avoidance rarely, if ever, serves us well). It’s about actively looking for experiences that result in positive emotions like satisfaction, joy, gratitude and so on. This could be as simple as spending time in nature, going for a walk with a friend, or listening to some enjoyable music. The point here is that we understand which experiences and activities result in these emotions and we actively seek them out.
Engagement
This element is all about getting positively ‘lost’ in an activity you love. it could be total absorption in a hobby requiring a focus on the present moment, or an emphasis on using your strengths more regularly. Total immersion in an experience has been described as ‘flow’ in the world of positive psychology. Something that musicians, sports professionals and other kinds of experts report regularly. The task becomes all and time loses meaning. Check out our recent podcast episode about building your awareness of the present moment.
Relationships
We’re previously looked at the important of connection and relationships when it comes to our wellbeing (check out Connect and Thrive for more resources on this) so it should come as no surprise to us that Seligman included this in his model. This is all about investing time and energy in positive relationships, getting involved in groups and communities, and maintaining social bonds of all kinds. Our recent exploration of ostracism at work underlines the importance of social connection to our wellbeing.
Meaning
This element of the model is all about our higher order purpose and meaning in life. That might sound a bit heavy, but it’s just being clear on what matters to you and doing more of this. Check out our recent podcast episodes about getting clear on values and learning how to put your values into action for more on this. Purpose and meaning help us answer the ‘why?’ questions in life and enable us to persist through, and overcome, challenges.
Accomplishments
This final element of the original PERMA framework is all about achieving things. It could be a stretching goal, like an educational qualification. Or something much more small-scale like learning a new skill at work. The contribution to our wellbeing comes from the satisfaction and pride arising from success and learning how to celebrate our small successes and achievements, not just focusing on adversity or how things could have been better.
Building this into your self-care routines
If you want to be intentional about your self-care and avoid some of the pitfalls I outlined in the last post, you can use the PERMA model to plan and reflect on your activities. It might already be obvious, but some common activities could ‘tick the box’ of a few elements at the same time.
For example, going for a walk in nature with a friend could help you feel positive emotions, contribute to positive relationships and allow you to experience total engagement in the walk itself. Going to an evening class to learn a language could contribute to your positive emotions, your sense of achievement and becoming part of a new community, forming new relationships.
Reviewing how you’ve been actively involved in self-care during the week can help you spot trends and identify the kinds of experiences that really make you feel good. Planning your downtime with the same lens can help you identify opportunities to get more of the various PERMA elements into your routine.
Probably the most important things to remember about this model are:
- It’s not all-encompassing, so you also need to invest in the basics of sleep, movement, diet and so on, to maintain your physical wellbeing.
- It’s subjective, so what works for someone else may not work for you. There’s no point in automatically copying someone else’s routines without reflecting on what really works for you.
- Don’t treat it like a goal to achieve, rather a principle to be followed and explored as you plan your self-care activities.
- Finally, don’t expect instant results. Explore your experience of these new self-care habits with curiosity and an experimental mindset, adjusting your approach as you more clearly identify what works for you.
To learn more about PERMA, check out my interview with Dr. Lyn Lanka about putting the framework into action.
